"Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age."
"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
"Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age."
"Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence."
"Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
"Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured."
"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
"The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious."
"Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding."
"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."
"Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility."
"Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband."
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."