"I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone."
"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
"I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education."
